Lessons To Learn

Solo - "Hedwig's Theme"

Solo - "Cologne"

Selfish people. So many selfish people.  Now, I have ALWAYS been one of those people who have trouble saying NO to things.  I have gotten myself overbooked, overwhelmed, and morphed into an anxious facsimile of a human being...but I have never been selfish.  If someone asks me to support them in any way--I'm on it!

My daughter has been a dancer for seven years.  She is only eleven, but is pretty good.  Competes on a competition team, so it does sometimes overtake our schedule, and life.  But we love it.  And most of the dance moms, too...She is  not necessarily like those flexy girls on all those tv dance shows...but she can hold her own, and I of COURSE love to watch, and think she is the best!  

My sister, on the other hand, has made it an incredible painful situation.  She does not support our dance.  So she basically does not support me.  Or my daughter.  A couple of years ago it came to a head.  I apparently asked her too many times if she could come to recital.  She replied with, "Why would I want to?"  And so.  I have yet to ask her since that awful conversation...it was a pivotol point in my relationship with her.  It was just such a shocking statement.  My daughter has NEVER deserved this.  She is a wonderful kid--anyone who knows her (teachers, etc...) loves her!

  

And since that comment three years ago, she has conveniently planned a trip ON RECITAL weekend to our father's house, out of state.  I have asked my father if he wants to come, oh YES is always the reply.  Send me the dates.  Well.  It comes down to my sister is in tight with his wife (not my mother)--so she has planned this around me, again this year.  I have just told my daughter...who cried that grandpa couldn't come.

The kicker is...I went to EVERY dance recital that I could (I know there were two I had conflicts that were unavoidable) of her daughter.  Her play...anything she ever asked me to! Her daughter was never great, but she was beautiful on stage.  I always loved it.  And was very supportive!  Her daughter quit maybe five years ago now...so yea.

Just hurts to have FAMILY that doesn't want to be involved.  Doesn't care.  Can't even say, "oh I wish I could.  Please tell her to have fun, and good luck." Even if they don't want to come, that would make my daughter feel better.  Well and me too if I'm being honest.  Or, "I'd love to see the video."  There is always just silence when anything about dance comes up. Silence. Or a  "hmm." 

Part of it is she thinks it takes up too much of my time...that we aren't raising her right!  I am just supporting my daughter's interest, and HOW is a dance team different than any sport/hobby--is no one allowed to be involved in anything?

NOW.  I do have good friends, and some of the husband's family is coming.  So we DO have support.  And we DO love these people.   It's just the people that you'd think wouldn't miss it for the world--and then plan to be away--well it just hurts.  And I'm almost 50! And you'd think I'd grow out of it by now.

Sigh.

And so...I have to teach her how to be gracious, how to not care, but to do things for herself and not for others to praise her or for their attention.  It's a tough lesson I obviously still need to work on.

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