Dark Shady Day

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 I won't go into the details of why I've deleted the my first two blogs.  They were just daily journals/nothing spectacular.  Except that my family knew of their existence.  And so the filter was strong.  I didn't want to piss anyone off.  Which, in my family, is apparently as easy as making apple pie.  Or whatever that phrase is.  I'm a notorious mixer-upper of colloquialisms.   Someday I'll share the list of my mistakes for a good laugh.  The Mister has it memorized I believed. He once kept a document on THE computer but I'm sure it's on a hard drive in a computer dump somewhere. [Back when it was THE one and only computer...not HERS, HIS, or THE KIDS computer(s)].

I had an English professor who committed suicide many years after I graduated from college.  I know he wrote a blog...but I don't know what it was called.  Don't know if it was private or public.  I just remember his thrill describing blogging to us students.  Write.  Write every day!  One of those mesmerizing teachers where I would sit in his class and forget to take notes.  I'm sure it was his love of language that convinced this "i don't know what i want to major in" liberal arts major student to choose English.  A private, Christian college that was a bit pricy.  Upon hearing the news, my dad said, "English? You don't know it by now? Why do you have to go to college to learn your mother tongue?"

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It's been a period of lots of changes.  Lots of eye openings.  Hit the world face on.  Reality of what life here is.  Who mean the most.  What activities matter.  All of it swimming around in the neurons up top.  Burning the heart too.  Crushing in the throat.  Can't breath for the grief.  More later.  Which is why the blog.  Again.  This one might actually stick around a while. 

And I must say, if I ever do get the courage to make it public, well, then I must thank Elizabeth Aquino.  A Moon Worn as if it were a Shell.  (Or something like that title).  Her writings have inspired me every day.  For a year.  I trolled her blog.  Wrote a few comments here and there.  Thought.  And Thought.  I must too write.  I must too write.

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By the way, it's really not a Dark Shady Day.  It's a beautiful, bottle this weather up and use it later when it's crushingly hot or chattering cold kind of day...really just a title to describe the mood.
I don't want to search google and find any of this.

H(P)

Yes. Me. In all my glory.